Amazon Is Lost In Space – Danger Danger Will Robinson

I was going to start a sister site to this one, with URL selling your book on amazon Dot Com. I actually own that domain. The site was built with one post I had written. However, Amazon is lost in space. Truthfully, here you will benefit from the humor of information I share here today.

Truly I can hear the robot relaying his famous hazard message here, “Danger, Danger Will Robinson.” Ironically Will Robinson, as I cast him here, owns more robots than anyone on the face of the earth, I suppose.

Their primary error was the recent decision to modify the affiliate commission structure range of payout commission from 3 to 6% down to 1 to 3% or somthing like that. Affiliates will be shaking the dust off their feet and moving for better commissions.


Tonight I was trying to BUY, not Sell, BUY three books I’d found on Amazon. I don’t go there often, occasionally my Author Central page. So trying to buy books the “cookie heads”, as I call IT storm troopers, have it set up over there all goofy.

I hit forgot my password. They sent me the text like I expected. I plugged in the six digit code. Then they wanted more

security information. Then we went through four of their (PARDON ME) stupid, no I did not stutter, I said STUPID Captcha fouled up cartooney (LOONEY TUNES) letter and number spaces thingies. It never gave me the car pictures tile.

Then unbelievably, it informed me “too many failures, access denied.”  WHAT? I am here trying to buy something. I looked at my wife and shook my head in utter disgust.



The continuing saga. Several years ago I worked at Boeing as an engineer. I had something like 40 separate computer applications in the Wichita division computer system. So in their great wisdom (stand back Solomon … it splatters) they refused to let me access it all with a single password I could remember and instead made me access everything with unique passwords for each application.

Therefore, I wrote the name of each app and its unique password on a piece of common ordinary notebook paper. Then I placed it in the middle drawer in my cube. Now I call them a Rube Farms. Or the drool pool. A bunch of ladies and male impersonators gossiping over sack lunch as though chained to their desks.

Point is the amazing security team and their insistence we have far too many passwords to remember gives the night janitor complete access to all apps in the Wichita system assigned to engineers.

Amazon likewise as result of the same thing in the free world as opposed to the cubical corporate environment where, in the once free world after using a single password on every platform I accessed for many moons, the IT set found out somehow and started making me change my passwords.

Now Goofball, as I call them periodically repeats this loonacy in the name of increased security. I’ll say, I cannot even spend my own money to get a book to read and review.

This reminds me of a vending machine executive (broke down van full of candy, his dog, some pop and those little peanut butter cracker thingies) whose focus in life was making sure no one got peanut butter crackers on a slug (fake coin) or a counterfeit bill of some kind.

He had all the sensors and readers so tightly adjusted you could hardly buy anything out of his machines. The sandwich vendor and I used to laugh about this.

Likewise, an intelligent friend told me how much she paid out in credit card sale fees. A lot. But her sales are over $ 8,000.00 per month. She says without the merchant account she would pay out nothing. But the $8,000 would look more like $2500.  Add it up.

Years ago, I sold a credit card machine and processing to a Chiropractor friend of mine because he called me up and said his staff thought they needed to accept credit cards. The next month he called me and said, Oh Man I want to thank you. He informed me his sales increased the first month accepting credit cards by $ 30,000.

When, if you sign up for the Wealthy Affiliate free trial. FREE. FREE, I said free trial and are, as I know you will be becoming convinced and stay on for a year and have several thousand dollars arriving in your bank account every month, next year, get Life Lock so you’ll be indemnified and instantly notified and legally defended for any untoward financial activity.  It’s really our responsibility.

Its Life Lock or Lollipop. In the event I ever reach a point where I need to hire IT, I will make them start the day by singing for any and all other employees in the cafeteria, “We Represent The Lollipop Guild.” (google that for full effect) Every morning. In their underwear if we could get a high court ruling allowing it. In their contract???  Might be seen as an adhesive contract.  Legal talk for coerced.

So amazon missed out on my $56 tonight. Probably 56, 000,000, overall, if the truth were known.

And I told my wife, OK I’ll just go check the books out at the library, read them and review them. Yes I am almost finished venting and ridiculing the Security Nazis who have amazon’s sales and my purchasing on lock down.

The last point is this: The IT set convinced me to go with the “we’ll remember your passwords for you” encrypted and saved passwords only your computer knows for sure, regimen. Then of course, they forgot to keep remembering them for me a month or so ago.

I went rounds with googleies and finally got my G mail unlocked again. I am certain there will be more IT frustration ahead in my future. I will deal with it as matter of the perseverance required to accomplish anything worth accomplishing in this life. This is the way of things so let us persevere. And don’t forget, “Danger, Danger Will Robinson.”

Thank you for visiting my website.  Thank you for indulging my rant.  Thank you for reading.  Please come again as I will be adding more information useful to you, on this site every week.  Please leave me your comments and questions below.  I will answer them as soon as I can.  I hope you gathered the humor I have intended in this ranting and raving.  Chris.

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